Preparing for Sleep

Our days are busy and leave us feeling scattered. Just like we might brush our teeth or have a shower before bed, we also cultivate good mental hygiene by intentionally creating space for practice. Here, we develop a habit or ritual for cultivating an atmosphere of relaxation, safety, and inspiration. Whether our goal is to have vivid lucid dreams, or simply to have a restful night’s sleep, our nighttime practice begins with good pre-sleep hygiene. The SLIP method helps us develop a nightly routine that gives us a sense of relaxation, safety, and clarity of mind, which is the basis of healthy sleep.

SLIP Into Sleep

S - Setting: 

Slow the momentum of the day by curating an outer environment that is conducive to restful, focused practice and sleep.

• Space from Others: Say good night to others, turn off devices, close the door

• Engage the Senses: Smell, Touch, Lighting, Temperature, Sound

• Sense of Safety: Physical, Psychological, Spiritual

The first "S" is for Setting. Setting refers to cultivating the outer environment for rest. This includes stepping away from our activities, electronic devices, and conversations and getting into your bedroom, saying goodnight to your family, closing the door, and making a deliberate attempt to start your dream practice of preparing for sleep. It can be very beneficial to stop your "screen time" on devices thirty minutes to an hour before you prepare for sleep.

It could be making a deliberate statement like, “My practice starts now,” and then engaging the senses. Whatever that means for you.  You could light incense or candles, if you like to feel soft things, or you might like a cool breeze from the fan or warm air on a cold night. Some may prefer a softly lit room. So, whatever “engaging the senses” means for you, it’s about signaling that it's time.

Then it's about establishing a sense of safety. This one is huge. We often carry this kind of hyper‑vigilance from our day into the night. We’re like those fish that sleep with one eye open, only ever really letting go partially. But we can change this ourselves. We can introduce a sense of safety in a conscious way that helps us really, really relax into sleep.

There are a variety of ways to do this. From a very simple, this could be as simple as reviewing your day. Laying down and starting from the morning, review the day, go through what happened, acknowledge the points that were sticky or challenging, so you can acknowledge them and then let them go, so you’re not carrying them into your sleep. In the Tibetan tradition, we imagine khandros, these female wisdom beings, sitting all around the room — at the entrances, at the windows, at the gates of the house — and their sole purpose for tonight is to protect you. The firmer that we can make this visualization, the more it actually affects our internal feeling of safety. So, whatever that is for you, experiment with what makes you feel safe. Look at places where you might notice feelings of being unsafe, and ask how you can consciously leave those out of your setting.

Experiment with your nighttime outer environment, inner space, and practice technique - what makes you feel relaxed, safe, supported, and excited to dream?

The Khandro's Protection

Khandros (also called dakinis) are an archetype or symbol of enlightened beings who are not trapped in their intellect or their emotions but slide freely through the world inspiring others by their dance of freedom. It’s a type of energy that has nothing to do with sex or gender. Khandros are inspiringly free. The symbol of the khandro is the sky. 

To begin, imagine protective khandros all around your bedroom. Imagine the khandros as beautiful goddesses or fairies, who are loving, green in color, and powerfully protective. They remain near as you fall asleep and throughout the night, like mothers watching over their child, or guardians surrounding a king or queen. Imagine them everywhere, guarding the doors and the windows, sitting next to you on the bed, walking in the garden or the yard, and so on, until you feel completely protected.

This practice is more than just trying to visualize something, it's a "feelization." See the khandros with your mind but also use your imagination to feel their presence. Creating a protective, sacred environment in this way is calming and relaxing and promotes restful sleep. 

You can enhance the sense of peace in your sleeping environment by keeping objects of a meaningful nature in the bedroom: peaceful, loving images, sacred and religious symbols, and other objects that direct your mind toward the path.

One way to help create this environment is to sing the verse below, slowly and beautify. Hand gestures go along with it. While singing, raise your hands above your head, and wiggle your fingers and shake your hands like rain as your hands move down from your crown to the body. Like rain softly falling over you. Finish with a traditional snapping of the fingers, and bringing your palms together as a lotus at the heart center.

Some nights, the khandromas are simply not enough. Some nights we need a bit more of a "punch" to feel safe. When we need a bit of a fierce kick, we can use the dokpa practice to help create a safe space for sleep.

Dokpa Practice

When a storm arises in our body or our mind, we can recognize that the worldly winds are blowing us around and pause. Take three slow full deep breaths and clapping our hands, Dok! Dok! Dok! we can send the storm back to where it came from. Where did the storm come from? Ah!

These are very troubled times. Events occur that show how very quickly a storm can arise and blow away everything we thought we knew. This kind of destruction has happened many times in history. There is no safety in the world. Everything is always changing. Wherever you look all over the world all kinds of sudden disturbance occur by which the security of our prediction that ‘tomorrow will be like today’ is just blown away.  Our minds are the root of all suffering. So let us practice an effective method of unifying the wisdom of emptiness with the skillful means of kindness to all.

When we say Dok! Dok! Dok! we clap our hands at each Dok! and imagine that all the negative forces are returned to where they come.

Dok! is a Tibetan word that indicates sending something back to where it came from. This is not revenge. It is simply returning a gift that we do not want and did not ask for. We are saying, “This is yours, please keep it!”

L - Love / Luxuriate: 

Cultivate an inner environment of love, compassion, patience and the willingness to “luxuriate” in the practice (instead of treating sleep as a chore)

• Take time to arrive to the breathing body with the Nine Cleansing Breaths

• Survey the day, acknowledge what is here for you, and allow yourself to let it go

• Be with yourself the way you would be for a child, a pet, or a loved one

• Take refuge, practicing the natural refuge tree

• Do Green Tara practice to help create a field of care.

Then the "L" is for Love or Luxuriate. We’ve just cultivated the outer environment for rest; this is about cultivating the inner environment for rest. So it’s coming to the practice with a feeling of love — especially self‑love, self‑compassion, and patience. This is very important. It's about being willing to luxuriate in practice, not beating ourselves up or trying to muscle through the practice like we might muscle through a workday. You can say, “I’m going to luxuriate, I’m going to melt into this practice and give myself to it.”

Some more traditional ways to cultivate this loving kindness, is to take refuge before you go to sleep. You can practice the natural refuge tree while laying in bed.  You can also call on Tara with her mantra, doing a Tara practice before sleep. And then, as you sleep, lay your head on her lap. You can also do Field of Care practice if that works better for you.

Unconditional Non-Judgmental Loving Relationships

What are the good ingredients to create unconditional loving relationships with myself?

• Security: Felt sense of safety. Everything is OK.

• Attention: Feeling seen. Giving someone genuine attention. Showing up and being present to them. Everyone wants to feel seen.

• True Presence: Feeling known more deeply. I see you suffering, and I am here for you. The six mantras of True Presence.

• Agency: Feeling valued and capable. Responding to the other person and allowing them to receive what they need. Encouraging them to experience the full expression of what is arising. Encouraging to be their best self, without trying to fix it or manipulate the situation.

I - Intention: 

Recall your specific intention and repeat it to yourself in your own words

• “May I awaken within my dream”

• “The next time I’m aware, I will be aware that I’m dreaming”

• “Tonight I will confront my fear of __ and gain insight into it”

• “I will wake up in my dream and seek out my dream guide”

• "I will transform karmic tendencies through recognizing when dreaming that all phenomenon are like a dream."

• "I will reverse attachment to all sorts of activities, such as eating, sleeping, sitting, and so forth through meditating on the path of the dream."

Then the "I" is for Intention. You can write down your intentions, but it's always great to say it out loud. Put together a phrase. In the Tibetan tradition, we always say, “May I wake up in this dream and recognize the fact that I am dreaming.” But you could also say, “Tonight I will wake up in my dream and recognize that I am dreaming and I will examine my fear of spiders” — it can be that specific. Or, “Tonight I will recognize that I am dreaming and I will encounter my dream guide.” Whatever that intention is for you, state it clearly.

Finding your Intention

Having a clear sense of why you’re practicing, how you would like to grow, and what you would like to accomplish in a dream or while awake is one of the strongest predictors of success and longevity in practice. Intention is the inner compass that guides our practice and signals its importance to the unconscious mind.

Answer the questions below as honestly and specifically as you can. When our “why”s feel authentic, deep, clear, and urgent, they act as powerful motivators in both dream and waking states. These answers may change often, but always be sure that you know your current “why”, and don’t be afraid to want it deeply.

1. What is your deepest wish, your vision for personal happiness and thriving?

2. What is one obstacle that you would like to overcome?

3. Why do you want to work with your dreams and become lucid in the dream state? How do you hope to grow/change through dream practice?

4. When you become lucid in the dream state, what’s one thing you will do?

The Supreme Intention

“Through consciousness of dreams, appearances are liberated in their falseness. Then, through reversing the attachment to cyclic existence, clinging to objective reality is cut. The demon of death arises as self-originated primordial wisdom. Through abandoning self-grasping, you obtain the selfless Buddhahood. Through governing illusion, you gain the ability to emanate enlightened bodies. Free of even ultimate truth, there is only emptiness.”

P - Practice: 

Review the instructions for your chosen dream practice and begin feeling relaxed, playful and confident. It might take a few attempts for a practice to work, or for you to decide if you like it, so approach each night with a beginner's mind.

• Relaxation

• Hypnagogic Induction - eg. 61 Points of Light

• Lucid Dream Induction Techniques - eg. DILD, WILD (WBTB, MILD)

• Dream Yoga Induction Techniques

The "P" is for Practice. Before we lay down to bed it can be beneficial to go over the specific practice instructions. Just to help us remember them and be clear about them. Then we move into the actual practice.

Dream Yoga Induction Techniques

“Gathering the wind (breath) and mind (awareness) in the central channel… Take the posture of the sleeping lion and focus your winds and mind on the A syllable, in the middle of the four petaled lotus, in the middle of the central channel.”

Lie down in the “posture of a lion”

Lie on your right side with your right hand cupped under your head and your left arm resting on your left side.

Focus the Mind on the Sphere

• Placing your awareness in your central channel, visualize wisdom light - like white mist or smoke - filling the central channel.

• Visualize a four petaled red lotus within the channel at the heart.

• Imagine a red ཨ A syllable at the center of the lotus at the heart

• Imagine four syllables: red Ra, blue La,་ yellow Sha, and green Sa on the four petals of the lotus. If you don't know what the syllables look like, you can imagine red, blue, yellow, and green light spheres on each of the four petals of the red lotus.

Have confidence that once you have placed them, the syllables will remain and protect your awareness so that you will recognize the dream as a dream.

Letters and words are the basis of "monlam"  (wish path), which are the setting of intent, this is how the all works.