Tonglen Practice

The Visualization

Imagine someone who is suffering in some way is sitting in front of you. It is said you should begin with yourself and then you can move on to loved ones, then people you are indifferent to, and finally to people you have difficulty with. You might notice that if you have strong emotions around someone whom you have difficulty with, beginning the practice with your own suffering first is essential before doing tonglen for the other.

Reflect on the person’s suffering and the causes of their suffering. If helpful, you can also imagine yourself in their shoes to better understand their suffering. Cultivate the wish that they be free of their suffering.

Then imagine that all the person’s suffering collects into a black, smoky substance. Imagine that because of your desire to free this person of their suffering, you willingly breathe it in in the form of this black, smoky substance.

Next, imagine that covering your heart is a hard, black tar-like mass which represents all of your self-cherishing and ego-clinging tendencies. A black bubble of self-focused "I, me, mine" that separates you from life. As you breathe in their suffering, because of your willingness to take on another’s suffering, your ego-clinging diminishes. To visualize this, you imagine that as you breath in their suffering as the black, smoky substance, it strikes the black substance around your heart representing ego-clinging, and both substances dissipate. As they dissipate, all that is left is a light from your true, open, selfless heart shines forth - the pure clear light of love. 

This light is composed of whatever antidote that the person needs to eliminate their suffering. For example, someone who is angry may need calming or patience, someone who is sad may need joy, someone worried may need confidence or a sense of ease, someone with a physical ailment may need health or strength, etc. You willingly give all of whatever antidote is needed to them, not needing to keep it for yourself. When the light shines on the other person, you notice that the black substance around them begins to dissipate as well. As this happens, they begin to suffer less.

You continue in this fashion, taking in the suffering of the person in front of you and sending back the antidote until your ego-clinging and their suffering have both completely dissipated. To visualize this, you continue breathing in their black, smoky substance which continues to strike and dissipate the black, tar-like mass around your heart and send back the light which continues to strike and dissipate the black, smoky substance around them, until finally both black substances have completely dissipated, and you are both full of light. All that is left is the luminous clear nature of mind itself and that shines forth and blesses both the person you drew from and all beings in the universe.

At his point you visualize that the person in front of you is at peace and completely free of suffering, while you are completely free of any ego-centricity and your heart is completely open, selfless, and spacious. Then you just rest in this feeling.

Once this process has been completed and you have rested in that space, you can also reflect on the fact that beings all over the world are suffering in the same way that this person in front of you has suffered. You cultivate a willingness to take on the suffering of all beings suffering in this way in order to free them of that suffering. You can then use the same visualization as before, but imagine the black smoke you breath in is coming from all the beings’ suffering, and that the light goes out to all those beings as well. 

At the end of the process, you imagine that all beings are smiling and free of this suffering, that you are once again free of ego-centricity, and you rest there. 

Commentary on Tonglen

What is the pith of the bodhisattva path? It is to end self-orientation, self-centeredness, and to open to the whole universe—to open to others.

The ego's response is primarily just concerned only with our own suffering, our own difficulty.

What tonglen does is immediately force us to universalize the experience and to care about all the others who are experiencing the same thing.

Then, if you're brave enough, you're willing to take all of it on yourself because—unlike many others—you have these tools. You have the practice of tonglen, and you know how to transform adversity into the path of Awakening. So that’s what gives you the courage to say, “Yeah, I’ll take it on for everyone.” Not because you’re a martyr, but because you have the tools to transform that experience.

You begin the exchange with yourself, and for many people, that's the hardest—because we've just kind of been walled off to that part of ourselves. So this is a very deep practice.

Have you healed the wounds within yourself? Have you done the exchange with that wounded, hurt part of yourself—deeply?

In tonglen, you imagine that part of you sitting or standing in front of you. You are in touch with that suffering within yourself.

What is your suffering? When you touch this wound, what is the suffering that is felt? Is it deep sadness, anger, fear, loneliness, unworthiness? What are the ingredients of your suffering?

You first get in touch with yourself and all these various emotions, and you imagine that they are the dark cloud that covers you—covers your heart. Then you breathe that in, and you imagine that your heart is also dark, because perhaps for much of your life, to protect yourself, you’ve walled yourself off from these feelings.

But now you’re no longer going to do that. So you breathe in that whole dark cloud of sadness or loneliness or feelings of unworthiness and unlovability. You breathe all of that into your heart center, and as soon as it touches your own darkness—your walling off and shutting out—you immediately then go into the compassionate response.

You're now accessing the healthier part of you—the more mature and grown-up part of you, the more wholesome part of you. What does that part of you have to give to this wounded part of you that would help you heal right now? What do you need? What do you have to give yourself?

You give yourself your love. You give yourself your presence. You let yourself know you’re not alone. You're finding within yourself these qualities: the ability to love, the ability to care, the ability to offer presence and strength and confidence—courage. That’s the mix of light. That is the alchemical exchange.

You're taking on this part of you that is suffering and has suffered, and you're exchanging that—because you can deal with that now—and giving that part of you your love, your presence, your caring, your strength, your courage, your confidence. That’s the exchange.

And you just keep working it until both of you filled with light.

The wonderful thing about tonglen is that it's not intellectual. You're not figuring anything out. It's so simple… You're just saying, “I will take it all on. I feel your suffering. I’ll breathe it in.” This is the compassionate side.