Before The Dying Process

Putting Together a Plan of Practice

Before someone begins the dying process, while they are healthy and clear minded, it's wonderful to discuss matters such as: what texts do you want read to you when you die? What prayers do you want read to you? What practice do you wish to do when you die? Make sure you include their wishes even if they are not Buddhist. 

Discuss who they want to visit them, such as lamas, teachers, spiritual friends? And discuss their specific practices and rituals they wish for while dying, and after death. You can discuss what to do with their body, both immediately after death, as well as the burial or cremation. It is good to have a plan written out in advanced, so when the time comes, there is no worry or stress. Just follow the directions, and practice the best one can into the next life.

You can also discuss how to position the body, where to touch the body, and where not to touch the body during the dying process and the days after. As well as their favorite chants, sutras, mantras, or songs to sing. 

Also, make sure to share this plan with their spiritual community, teachers, and family members too -- especially family members who may not be Buddhist or familiar with such practices.

Ceremony to Support the Sick [Click Here]

This ceremony is to offer peace of mind and courage to the sick and to those who have been victims of disasters as well as to their relatives and friends.

Medicine Buddha Practice [Click Here]

Medicine Buddha can address illness or poor health through meditation and visualization to free themselves from obstacles in life to increase and protect their well-being.

Long Life King Practice [Click Here]

For the purpose of healing any damage to the lifespan and for removing any obstacles that could interfere with the complete fulfillment of the lifespan of an individual.

While Actively Dying

What To Do When a Person is Dying

As a person is dying, it is extremely important not to disturb or upset them in any way. Family, friends, and staff should not show any excitement near the deathbed, and should speak softly, in restrained tones. It is best at this time to speak as much as possible about religious topics, according to the religious faith followed by the dying person.

If the person is a Buddhist, the people present should try to talk about subjects such as the Buddhas, lamas or great religious teachers, compassion, loving kindness, the wish to achieve enlightenment for the good of all living beings, and especially the fact that the Buddha himself is a place where one can take ultimate refuge or shelter a protection which will never fail.

The reason for trying to speak about these things is that the last moments of thought in this life are extremely important in determining what will happen to a person in the future: these thoughts trigger particular seeds in a person's mind that will decide where they are to go next.

Therefore it is essential to see that these thoughts are as pure as possible. There should be no bad thoughts or disturbing emotions.

Some may wish for a quiet and peaceful space, and for their family not to come visit in order to aid them in letting go, and not getting caught in longing for the past, holding on, and all emotionalities that arise around death & dying.

Some may wish to see their teacher one last time, and to have them recite their favorite teachings and texts. If their teacher cannot be present, you can always read to them their favorite texts, teachings, sadhana, or stories of the lives of the masters. This is a very good time to read them the teachings on the bardo, and on the natural state to help them remember as they soon transition into the bardo. Hopefully, you had a chance to discuss matters such as: what texts do you want read to you when you die? What prayers do you want read to you? What practice do you wish to do when you die? Make sure you include their wishes even if they are not Buddhist. Do whatever you can to help them cultivate wholesome mind-states.

If the person doesn't have a specific practice, Quan Am, Tara, Cundi, or Ma Tri practices are good options to do together. You can guide them in the practice and recite the mantras for them if they are unable.

Remembering Unconditional Non-Judgmental Loving Relationships

As you are present with the person who is dying, remember the teachings about the good ingredients to create unconditional loving relationships with them. And remember that you can connect with them in this way, even without words.

• Security: Felt sense of safety. Everything is OK.

• Attention: Feeling seen. Giving someone genuine attention. Showing up and being present to them. Everyone wants to feel seen.

• True Presence: Feeling known more deeply. I see you suffering, and I am here for you. The six mantras of True Presence.

• Agency: Feeling valued and capable. Responding to the other person and allowing them to receive what they need. Encouraging them to experience the full expression of what is arising. Encouraging to be their best self, without trying to fix it or manipulate the situation.

Posture for the Dying

Physi­cally, they should sit in the five-point posture or their meditation posture the best they can. You can use pillows, cushions, and even a meditation belt to help the person get into their meditation posture. Or, if unable to do that, lie them down on the right side and rest the cheek on the right hand, and if able blocking the right nostril with the little fin­ger. One can also apply to the crown of their head an ointment compounded of wild honey, ash from burning unspoiled seashells, and filings from an iron magnet.

Practice for the Dying

While breathing through the left nostril, they should begin by meditating on love and compassion and then train in send­ing and taking, in conjunction with the coming and going of the breath. 

Then, without clinging mentally to anything, they should rest evenly in a state of knowing that birth and death, samsara and nirvana, and so on, are all projections of mind, and that mind itself does not exist as anything. In this state, they should continue to breathe as well as one can.

At The Time of Death

Presence at the Bedside

At the time of death, do not touch the body, move the body, or speak loudly or near the lower body. When you do speak, such as reciting a prayer, do so always from above their head. Never from their feet. Treat the person as if they are sitting peacefully in silent meditation.

The process of dying is very similar to what happens when an advanced religious practitioner goes into meditation. The mind goes deeper and deeper, and enters an extremely subtle state. Because of this it moves into the area of the heart and into the central channel that passes down through the center of the body. 

Although the person has stopped breathing and has to all outer appearances become completely cold and lifeless, this subtle state of mind is nonetheless still present in the body, within the heart in the central channel. In some people it may remain there for as long as ten days, although seven days is more typical. The way in which the person's mind is stirred out of this deep, subtle state is the crucial point in the death process.

If allowed to do so, the mind will of its own accord come out of the subtle state and this is actual death. If however we touch or jar the body abruptly, we can waken their mind from its deep state. The mind will leave the body where we touch it: if we touch the lower part of the body, the legs or feet, then the mind will leave from there and in most cases lead the person to a birth in hell or one of the other lower realms. If we touch the upper part of the body it is better, for most people will then take a birth in the higher realms. The best place we can touch the person is at the center of the top of the head.

It should be emphasized though that one should avoid touching the person altogether. This is because stirring their mind out of its subtle state is actually taking it to the point of death - touching their body causes his mind finally to leave the body, and this is tantamount to killing them. Therefore we should be extremely careful to leave the person alone until the mind has completed the process of the subtle state and departed on its own accord. It is best not to move the body for at least 24 hours, if not longer.

The Pure Land "Bonk"

If someone is planning on Amitabha’s Pure Land (Dewa Chen), you can wrap the Pure Land text  [download here] in cloth and keep it nearby whenever a person is dying. If neither you nor they are skilled in phowa, all you need to do is read them the text. As their last breath finishes, circle it clockwise three times around the crown of their head, then tap them once on the crown with the text. This helps them go out the crown chakra to Dewa Chen.

Be sure to check for consent. If they want to go to the Christian heaven, don’t bonk them with Dewa Chen. Let them go where they wish. They already have a plan. How would you feel if someone tried to drag you away from where you wanted to go?

Yes, you can also do this for animals and pets. For animals, you can assume implied consent. For humans, however, you should check if they have another preference. They may even have their own Pure Land text they want used—in that case, use that.

Rainbow Dome Phowa

On the day a person dies, if you know how to do Rainbow Dome Phowa for another, this is the time to practice it. Rainbow Dome Phowa develops an intention that can assist others to attain enlightenment in the dying process. To be effective, one must first receive transmission from a qualified teacher. Then, when combined with focused practice and intention, whether performed by a Lama or a practitioner like yourself, Phowa can become an expression of Supreme Bodhicitta.

The First Three Days After Death

Ceremony for the Deceased [Click Here]

Reciting Bardo Prayers

After a loved one has passed, for the first three days, bardo prayers are recited. These prayers performed to guide the deceased through the transitional states (bardo) after death and help them achieve a favorable rebirth.

The First Forty-Nine Days After Death

Ceremony for the Deceased on the Seventh and Forty-Ninth Days [Coming Soon]

Ceremony for Closing the Coffin [Coming Soon]

Cremation Ceremony [Coming Soon]

Burial Ceremony [Coming Soon]

Reciting Purification Prayers

During the first 49 days after a loved one has passed, purification prayers such as The Six Lokas of the DU TRI SU can be recited. Yungdrung Bön holds the view that all the beings of cyclic existence can be categorized into six types: gods, demi-gods, humans, animals, hungry ghosts, and hell beings. This prayer gives a powerful set of practices that utilize the six chakras of the body, visualizations, mantra recitation, and invocation of the  six guides known as the Dulshen, in order to purify all the beings of cyclic existence. These practices will also purify  our karmic connection to these realms. The source of this practice and its main Buddha is Tonpa Shenrab. 

Reciting Pure Land Prayers

You can also recite this Pure Land Prayer as well. It is the prayer of the Completion Body entitled “Rope of Compassion”, also called the prayer of the Blissful Pure Realm. This text teaches how to listen, contemplate, and practice. So, for any sentient being who has died and wishes to be reborn in the Blissful Pure Realm, on their behalf we can face the Northern direction of the Pure Realm of Buddha Limitless Light, holding pleasant smelling incense, and through the six purifications recite the prayer of the Rope of Compassion prayer.